Shop More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Student Member CassieCros13Female/United States Groups :iconled-zep-love: Led-Zep-Love
A Club For Led Zeppelin Fans!
Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 268 Deviations 12,016 Comments 18,884 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

:music: :bulletpink: :bulletred: :bulletorange: :bulletyellow: :bulletgreen: :bulletblue: :bulletpurple: :bulletred: :bulletpink: :bulletred: :bulletorange: :bulletyellow: :bulletgreen: :bulletblue: :bulletpurple: :bulletred: :bulletpink: :bulletred: :bulletorange: :bulletyellow: :bulletgreen: :bulletblue: :bulletpurple: :bulletred: :bulletpink: :music:

:heart: Here are links to my gallery folders! Hope you like what you see! Every visit is much appreciated. :love: :heart:

:bulletred: Featured.

:bulletyellow: Drawings.

:bulletblue: Writings.

:bulletgreen: Fan Fictions.

:bulletpurple: Stamps.

:bulletblack: Everything Led Zeppelin

:music: :bulletpink: :bulletred: :bulletorange: :bulletyellow: :bulletgreen: :bulletblue: :bulletpurple: :bulletred: :bulletpink: :bulletred: :bulletorange: :bulletyellow: :bulletgreen: :bulletblue: :bulletpurple: :bulletred: :bulletpink: :bulletred: :bulletorange: :bulletyellow: :bulletgreen: :bulletblue: :bulletpurple: :bulletred: :bulletpink: :music:

Friends

Groups

Activity


I'm sick.

My nose is running, my throat is sore, I have a migraine in the back of my head, and my eyes are twitching, red, and sitting on dark circles. But while my body is begging me to sleep, I am unable to do so because of these symptoms. That, and my mind is bothering me more so. Writing for me isn't an option, it's a necessity. Being a writer, as most of you are, I feel guilty if I don't put something down on paper in awhile. I have so much to say with no one really to say it to, and it's all bottled up inside. I wish the prescription pills actually worked. I've taken about six or so in the course of twelve hours and I feel no feeling other than exhaustion and nasal congestion. I may be a physical mess, but my feelings are mixed, because of what we've done so recently. For three weeks, from September 19th until last night, my dad and I took on our biggest assignment yet and our ultimate test of persistence, work ethic, and determination.

My dad and I accepted our first huge project from National Geographic for their upcoming magazine issue featuring Yellowstone, with some additional Dr. Pol car cams and a ninety minute interview with a photographer. In 2016, Yellowstone National Park will be one hundred years old, and we had forty seven interviews to transcribe from very diverse people with one common love for the park. They are anywhere from children who live in Jackson Hole or from cities near the area or whom go to school around there (which only teaches 19 students!), to biologists, ecologists, park rangers, smoke jumpers, firefighters; you name it. People with varying personalities, interests, and hobbies are interviewed with the same questions, and there were no two similar answers for any of the questions asked. From these interviews, both a magazine and a film will be released for Yellowstone's one hundred year anniversary in 2016.

The three weeks are a blur to me now. They did not go by quickly. This project among others was very, very time consuming. Since each of the forty seven films vary in time length, some nights we transcribe thirty minutes of audio, sometimes sixty. Near the end, we had a ninety minute video that took us two days to transcribe and edit. And as I believe I've said before, transcribing means capturing absolutely everything. Background dialogue, stuttering, coughing, crying, laughing, swearing--and we've done these and more strange sounds, including the waterfall gushing in the background, or the birds chirping from a distance. I am more specialized in speed, and because the deadlines for every set of films are crucial, I have to go fast and therefore miss a lot of what was in the background. That is where my dad comes in. He catches everything I don't (with 99% accuracy.) He went to the College of Legal Arts for court reporting, so he is much more experienced than I with catching small details at amazing accuracy. 

The first week was the hardest. The last thing I wanted to do with only a week's break, was go right back to transcribing for three weeks straight. I had two huge exams coming up, plus my government test, plus essays for College Writing and Psychology, and this would take away much valuable time I needed to study for my tests and complete my work. I was stressed out, and transcribing forty seven films totaling eighteen hours in length did not seem plausible to me. My keyboard wasn't working right. The buttons were jammed and they hurt my fingers. My neck felt paralyzed for sitting in the same position for many hours. My typing speed and attention span decreased as the hours went by, and I was falling asleep at my desk. Since I am not a coffee or soda drinker, I would eat chocolate and sugary foods to keep myself awake at night, but I would end up feeling even worse in the long run. I know I've gained weight from sitting down for so long without exercise as well, and we're going to change that soon by getting a family YMCA membership with some of our check. Upon completion of this project, we would earn over close to $2,500. Most of the money will go towards bills and groceries, but some of it will also go towards paying for my tuition for next year. Every time I nearly fell asleep, I had to bear this in mind and continue to type.

These past weeks, I averaged maybe three to four hours a night. Sometimes only an hour or two, sometimes none at all. I didn't attend school for some of these days to meet the day's deadlines. That, and because of some of the symptoms that accompany sleep deprivation. I admit I wasn't in the best of moods during this time, and I was on edge and very emotional. I could be gleefully running up the stairs one day, and crying in the bathroom the next.

But I am proud of myself, because even with my body and mind begging for rest, I pressed on. I never gave up or went to sleep when a deadline was near. We sorted out our issues and bought a new keyboard about halfway through, which made the rest of the project much easier. That keyboard easily saved me about two hours a film, which is crucial at the 3:00 and 4:00 am hours of the night.

After triumphs and some near failures, we did it. Sometimes I would stay up at night and finish the job, sometimes my dad would carry me when everything in me was depleted. I could honestly say I did everything I could to the best of my ability, which on some days wasn't much, but on others made the difference between us reaching the deadline or not. I just can't believe I can actually say we accomplished this. But the work isn't over yet. We were just hired for another "rush project" that could come in at any day. There is no rest and no mercy. But it's still work, work I need, and work I'm very grateful to have especially at my age. The job field is so rough and so competitive, and I am subject to discrimination for a variety of reasons just like anyone else may be; because of my age or physical condition as far as manual labor in grocery stores or warehouses, who knows what else. It doesn't matter where you're at; people judge you, and you judge others. It's second nature. At least at home, no one knows a sleep deprived, eighteen year old college freshman is behind the screen, rather than the professional whom they really think is doing the job.

I'm loving college, but of course the studying and memorizing is grueling, especially with the limited time I have. I took both my Psychology and my Intro to Politics exams. My grades did suffer; I only received an 85% on my Intro to Politics exam. I guess it's not bad for my first college exam, but I am still disappointed with myself because I know I can do better. I still don't know what I got for my Psychology exam, but as that test was also difficult, I think I've gotten a similar result. I don't believe I've gotten anything lower than a B.

As far as high school goes, I turned in two essays for College Writing which I will hopefully receive back graded tomorrow, and took my first Government test and received the only perfect score in the class! I was so excited, and was the only student who did not retake the test. I am learning so much from both this class and my Intro to Politics class. So much so, that I made yet another huge decision.

I'm changing my major again. I thought about the interests I have in current world affairs and politics. I thought about Girls State, and how energizing and unreal that political atmosphere was. I thought about how many opportunities there was for political science; anything from attorneys, state legislatures and representatives, politicians, all the like. While I do not wish to become an attorney or politician, with that type of knowledge, there are amazing opportunities and positions to fill. I thought about these things in comparison to my current plan, and started to rethink everything. I am back to where I have started, with no idea about what career I want. I absolutely love music, singing, all the like; but I'm not exactly sure if I want to be a music teacher or hold the same position for the majority of my life. Maybe I could be both a history and a music teacher. As cliche as it is to say, variety is the spice to life and I believe life would be more fulfilling to do more than one occupation, or one occupation that can change from one day to the next. I think that is exciting, but I don't think this decision is mine.

I believe God has led me to make this choice. I recently got my ACT score back, and it was much better than my SAT; a 24 overall, with a 27 (about 1900 SAT score equivalent) in English. Math is what killed me; the common enemy. I only received a 20 and that brought my score down significantly. But a 24 on the ACT is equivalent to a 1700 on the SAT, and while I know I can do better than this if I studied math some more, this is the minimum ACT score needed to be considered for Corban University's most prestigious $15,000 a year scholarship reserved for political science majors. The minimum GPA requirement is a 3.6. This is my shot at actually being able to afford college.

I am going to better prepare myself for this major by becoming a member of Corban University's debate team, and it starts this Thursday! It will be challenging considering that I will be stepping into the middle of what the other members have practiced for weeks already, but I am ready to face it head on. 

My eighteenth birthday was nearly a month ago. I celebrated my new found adulthood by waking up at six in the morning to take my ACT test at Chemeketa Community College. I took the SAT before, and I resent the atmosphere of that type of test. It's tense, it's nerve wracking. You can't even drink water for four hours. (I took a sip and nearly got kicked out of the testing center...) I don't like standardized testing as a way to measure students academically. There are many different types of intelligence and skills that are unique to everybody, and everybody should have the chance to pursue their strengths with the best of their ability.

But anyways, after the test was over at 1:15, we stopped at Costco to buy my chocolate mousse birthday cake. It had chocolate roses and decorative white laced frosting. My dad had given me my birthday gift the previous night, which was a receipt from Corban University for $500. My second semester was paid in full!! I couldn't have asked for a better birthday present.

My grandma, aunt, and uncle then came to our apartment at around 4:30 and presented me with four balloons with the primary colors I've been obsessed with repeating over, and over, and over again growing up; green, yellow, red, and blue; the biggest balloon, just like on my sixth birthday, being green. We went to an ice cream shop called Serendipities in our neighboring town, which employs and supports, and raises money for people with disabilities. And of course, the ice cream was delicious.

When I told them a bit about my life then, I wished I could of told them everything. I wanted to talk to them about work since it is a bigger part of my life now. I wish I could tell them how hard it really is to juggle this demanding work, college, and high school. I'm sure they know, but they don't know about the time that has been taken away from me.

My boyfriend Caleb, my microbiology and gym partner from last year, came over that night. He bought me a necklace with a music note. Caleb and I got to spend little time together, but the times we do spend together are special. Homecoming night was recently, and we ironically skipped the dance, but ended up having the time of our lives going out to the field and counting the stars in the sky. It was so peaceful, I nearly fell asleep.

Oh, and I am currently obsessed with this psychedelic masterpiece by The Mamas and The Papas. :heart: Here's if you want to listen for yourself. :)



I miss and love all of you people, and thank you all for your support. :heart: (I want to feature you in my next journal, so comment which pieces of yours that you would like featured. Also if I mistakenly did not add you, comment and I will. :) :heart: )

:heart: :heart: :iconhopeburnsblue: :iconpen-and-mouse: :iconthewritingdragon: :iconzachvalkyrie: :iconbloody-magpies: :iconyuiay: :iconboogiechan98: :icontheaschebloodprince: :iconlucyinthesky114: :iconprincess-yari: :iconyoubetjurassic: :iconstarxx1: :iconmkmoon-mew-gnrfan: :iconferalwrath: :iconhija-de-luna: :iconpjenz: :iconprincesszeppelin: :iconnalanilover: :icon0shawn0: :icontwilitefairy: :heart: :heart:

I am going to attempt to get some much needed sleep again, despite some schoolwork that I do need to catch up on, I just needed to write. I hope this congestion does not last for too much longer as we will for sure have to get back to work soon, but not too soon I'm wishing. It was hard enough working without being sick. I love you all. Good night everybody. :peace:
  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: California Dreaming.
It's been awhile.

I miss writing, and I miss time.  My whole summer has been a race against time, sometimes it's a losing battle. There have been nights of which I've cried, others where my mom had, others where my dad had. Both of them are stronger than I'll ever be.

I'm seventeen years old, this Saturday eighteen. Last year I had not a clue of what to do with my life. This year I have a job at National Geographic, am ASB Treasurer at high school, and am attending Corban University on track to be a music education major. I still have no idea how my family and I will ever afford the heavy tuition bill that is soon to face us, but I trust in God and that the battle is his to fight. I'm simply going through the motions, and am engaged in what I hope is his plan for me.

This summer was insanely stressful. Work has flooded my dad and I, and we stay up for nights some weeks just to make the deadline; one of those times just being a few days ago. I had to miss school last week for two days just to transcribe what was ninety minutes of production background talk. We have never before completed ninety minutes of transcription in twenty four hours, so this is a huge milestone for both of us. I also missed my ASB treasurer induction, which greatly upset me, but I was given a choice; miss a moment of my life of which I'll never get back, or three hundred dollars. We get paid 2.50 a minute, and I am working completely undercover from my dad's sister who sends my dad the films from Maryland and takes all the credit. Her boss doesn't know that my dad is working for her, and Carly doesn't know that I am working for my dad. That's the beauty of working at home on the computer; our identities are hidden entirely.

It took us months to figure out a system that worked for both of us. My dad employed me in May, and then I greatly underestimated the importance and the rigor of this job. Carly sends my dad films that have the main cast being interviewed from TV shows such as The Incredible Dr. Pol, and documentaries that can vary from various foods and their history, to the perspective of Park Rangers who work at Yellowstone National Park for almost 365 days a year. 95% of the time, they are interviews. The other 5% are what I got last week, which was just set up talk that had to be transcribed.  The instructions were simple: Type everything you hear. (And put a time code in every 20 seconds.) That includes every noise in the background, or words murmured by a director, producer, or interviewer under their breath. It seemed easy, but being inaccurate or misinterpreting words, or looking up words, especially in the late hours in the night, is rather difficult. Some people have accents, some stutter and yes, every stutter and extra word they utter has to be written down. The hardest one by far was a food interview with a man that spoke Japanese, and we had to look up many words or play back segments until the end of time just to somewhat understand what this man was saying. The longest I've stayed up to meet a deadline was forty eight hours straight, but we have thus far never failed to send it in on time.

At first, it took us twenty four hours to transcribe an hour of audio, and that was on a film of which most words are easy to understand. I transcribed about four to five minutes per an hour, my dad about two to three. Now we are both faster; my dad can transcribe up to five minutes an hour and I can on the easiest films do ten. We can now transcribe that same twenty four hours of film in twelve hours. The only difference between my dad and I was accuracy. My dad was a signalman in the Navy and has a very keen attention to detail. I on the other hand have a top typing speed of 90 wpm, but that only helps us out if the words are clear and audible for most of the film. We transcribed and edited the material on our own, and sent them in separately, even though sometimes the quality between mine and my dad's work was clear as day. He would get rightfully pissed at me for not catching words, putting in the wrong word, writing down what the wrong person said (sometimes the interviewer and the interviewee sound near identical, especially if they are both males) or screwing up on time codes which I'm glad to say I no longer do. Even though these are films, we rarely receive the film itself and just the audio of the film, so identifying the people if they sound alike can be difficult sometimes.

But after many weeks of almost getting it right, my dad finally figured it out. Instead of us both typing, I would type and send my dad the rough draft of the film, and he would edit. Even though the editing can take hours and the transcribing even more hours; overall we get way more accurate and save a lot of time. Because of our improved accuracy, we have recently gotten even more work and are starting to give Carly a name for herself. And believe me, standing out at a place like National Geographic Headquarters in New York is far from easy.

But we've had other lows such as my mom being demoted from work because of a fuck up from a supervisor. She might get her original cashier position this week, and then transfer to another work place, and I pray that it goes smoothly for her. Our boss will transfer on September 12th to another project, and my dad and I face the possibility of losing our jobs. We are both just praying that our boss spreads word about our accuracy this summer so this is not the case.

With our hard work, we managed to pay the first $500 for my first three college courses; General Psychology, Intro to Politics, and Concert Choir. The only problem with my schedule is, I unknowingly registered for a five day schedule and because I am not yet licensed, one of my parents have to drive me to college every day, putting a ton of pressure on them that I feel very bad about. It is especially difficult if my dad has to do it, and we have work. I can't miss college, especially Psychology on Fridays because we have a quiz at the start of class every week. I have yet to get my results of the quiz I took this Friday about the variables of an experiment; but I already know it's a hundred percent after the time I've spent on it, and how I was the first to put my pencil down. I was the first to have my books ready on the first day of class, which cost us over three hundred dollars. I am very fascinated by psychology and politics, and I'm very, very happy and excited about being a college student at a Christian university with people as passionate as I am.

This June, I was nominated by our American Legion to participate in Girls State, thanks to my dad for researching it out for me. Girls State is like a government and political education camp where delegates have a strict dress code, and get to run for office and participate in a huge ceremony at the end. The experience changed my life. I've met such amazing people who I hope to stay in contact with. I went from being reserved and only talking to my roommate, to opening up and crying my eyes out on the day before we left as some of us told personal stories about our lives. I thought about my dad; how the death rate for a signal man was 80% and how all odds were against him, how he grew up with his five siblings in poverty, how his father was an alcoholic and lost his belief in God after being diagnosed with Polio at eighteen, and therefore losing his dream of becoming a star football player. He could only live his dream through his son, my dad, who scored four to five touchdowns a game in middle and high school. But some way some how, he got screwed over too and didn't make it to Varsity because of favoritism and politics at his high school. Neither of his parents told him about college, told him he could still achieve his dream, or gave him the support he needed to continue on with his life such as what he is doing for me, because of his family circumstances and the attention going out to his older siblings. And nothing has changed; we as a family have always been the black sheep of the family because we are much poorer than they are, much more overweight than they are, and overall our interests and beliefs often contrast with their perspectives. I recently had a "family vacation" to the beach with Carly flying in from Maryland and the family renting out a beach house when all hell broke loose; our van almost broke down with the dogs inside on the way there; and we drove back home for three hours in utter disbelief and panic. When we arrived in a different car without the dogs the next day, there was a disconnection with the family that was much stronger than usual. Is it because my brother Joshua and I are no longer kids but teenagers, and are no longer entertaining to them? Is it because I have put on another fifteen pounds this summer from doing nothing but sitting at a computer, typing my ass off, and cramming down Snickers and Hershey kisses just to stay awake at night? (Or it just may have been that I got the "Freshman Fifteen" a year early since I am a college student now? :shrug: ) They (not my immediate family of course) would probably disown me if they found out I've ever smoked, despite the hypocritical fact that most of them have done it too, along with drinking alcohol, when they were my age.

At Girls State, I found acceptance from amazing, intelligent young girls that will have bright futures and promising careers. I was the defense attorney for a mock trial, and our team won the case. One attorney was so impressed, she introduced herself to my family and told them she came to the closing ceremony just to see me (I nearly fainted when she said that! :XD:) During elections, I originally wrote a speech to be attorney general, but lost to a girl who I am absolutely certain will become one some day, as her father is a lawyer. She amazed me. Another girl, Sydney Roberts, who is a state debate champion, won Girls Nation Senator and went on to become Girls Nation president and meet Barack Obama this July. Hearing her speak passionately about GMOs and other world issues deeply impressed and inspired me, and I am very sure she could become the first lady president if she desired to. But what I did get to do, was write a song during follies to the tune of Queen's "We Will Rock You" to "Girls State Rocks You" and to see all of these very intelligent girls just lose themselves and stand up and clap with me during the performance melted my heart. I lost the election one day, but the next day was another election and another chance to be something. I ran for Supreme Court Justice and got my name on the ballot without a speech prepared, but by talking to everybody. By promising that I will do my best if I get elected and get the amazing opportunity to return next year as a junior counselor. I didn't make campaign posters or advertise like other candidates did, but somehow at the ceremony Saturday morning, the results came in and I got to be one of seven Supreme Court Justices with a kick ass black robe and sitting next to girls like Sydney Roberts. I also received the HUGE honor of being nominated First Citizen by my county and counselors. Just to be on the same stage with these girls was amazing in itself.

Overall as I've said before, this summer has been a race against time. Some days I have to make sacrifices whether it be hours of sleep, days of school, dates with my boyfriend, time with my brother, (who is almost fourteen already!! :omg: ) or family events that I miss. This job has matured me in a way nothing else would of. I'm learning to love myself and to love my body not because I like the way my body looks or anything, but because God has created me and everybody else in this world in his image. It seems that life gets easier the more I put my trust in him. I'm a lot happier, and care a lot less about what my classmates and teachers think about me than last year and years before. I care about what my parents think, what my closest friends think, and what my God thinks. But still, to think I am a legal adult this Saturday is so unreal. To think that I came from not speaking much ten years ago to singing onstage at Girls State in front of lawyers and future politicians blows my mind. I started college first before starting school, and I'm loving both. It's so great to be back. My school may be small and only focused mainly on football; but my counselors really care and have worked so hard to contact my college and put my schedule together, which was a project that they have been working on since May. My same counselors made it possible for me to go to the University of Oregon for two weeks my sophomore year on a $1500 scholarship. I'll never be able to thank them enough or repay them for helping make my dream of attending college a reality. I'll be turning eighteen this Saturday, and thanks to Girls State I'm most excited about voting this November, which I've already applied to do. I'm especially excited about being part of changing Oregon's history with voting "Yes" on measure 91, which means ending modern day prohibition on a substance that like alcohol in the 1920s, shouldn't even be illegal in the first place. This is coming from someone who was once so afraid to try it and do something different, and despite the bad rap it gets, I don't regret that decision. Voting yes will mean 31 million dollars for schools, drug rehabilitation programs, and tax revenue. All sounds good to me. :peace:

Oh yeah, and my favorite event of the summer was getting to see Quiet Riot in the first row at the county fair for seven dollars a ticket!! I was right next to the amplifier which nearly deafened me. But the guitarist imitated Jimmy Page and constantly pointed at me and made eye contact with me, (it must have been the Led Zep shirt I wore. :D ) Also I'm really, really, really getting into Pink Floyd and psychedelic music by The Doors, The Zombies, The Black Keys (I want to see them so bad on Halloween this year when they come to Portland!!) and just psychedelic music in general. And no matter how old I get or what career I have, I will forever be obsessed with rainbows and colors (and I think my new favorite song is Any Color You Like by Pink Floyd...it's such a trip. Which is why I'm voting yes on measure 91. ;) )
  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: The fan blowing in my room.
I'm sick.

My nose is running, my throat is sore, I have a migraine in the back of my head, and my eyes are twitching, red, and sitting on dark circles. But while my body is begging me to sleep, I am unable to do so because of these symptoms. That, and my mind is bothering me more so. Writing for me isn't an option, it's a necessity. Being a writer, as most of you are, I feel guilty if I don't put something down on paper in awhile. I have so much to say with no one really to say it to, and it's all bottled up inside. I wish the prescription pills actually worked. I've taken about six or so in the course of twelve hours and I feel no feeling other than exhaustion and nasal congestion. I may be a physical mess, but my feelings are mixed, because of what we've done so recently. For three weeks, from September 19th until last night, my dad and I took on our biggest assignment yet and our ultimate test of persistence, work ethic, and determination.

My dad and I accepted our first huge project from National Geographic for their upcoming magazine issue featuring Yellowstone, with some additional Dr. Pol car cams and a ninety minute interview with a photographer. In 2016, Yellowstone National Park will be one hundred years old, and we had forty seven interviews to transcribe from very diverse people with one common love for the park. They are anywhere from children who live in Jackson Hole or from cities near the area or whom go to school around there (which only teaches 19 students!), to biologists, ecologists, park rangers, smoke jumpers, firefighters; you name it. People with varying personalities, interests, and hobbies are interviewed with the same questions, and there were no two similar answers for any of the questions asked. From these interviews, both a magazine and a film will be released for Yellowstone's one hundred year anniversary in 2016.

The three weeks are a blur to me now. They did not go by quickly. This project among others was very, very time consuming. Since each of the forty seven films vary in time length, some nights we transcribe thirty minutes of audio, sometimes sixty. Near the end, we had a ninety minute video that took us two days to transcribe and edit. And as I believe I've said before, transcribing means capturing absolutely everything. Background dialogue, stuttering, coughing, crying, laughing, swearing--and we've done these and more strange sounds, including the waterfall gushing in the background, or the birds chirping from a distance. I am more specialized in speed, and because the deadlines for every set of films are crucial, I have to go fast and therefore miss a lot of what was in the background. That is where my dad comes in. He catches everything I don't (with 99% accuracy.) He went to the College of Legal Arts for court reporting, so he is much more experienced than I with catching small details at amazing accuracy. 

The first week was the hardest. The last thing I wanted to do with only a week's break, was go right back to transcribing for three weeks straight. I had two huge exams coming up, plus my government test, plus essays for College Writing and Psychology, and this would take away much valuable time I needed to study for my tests and complete my work. I was stressed out, and transcribing forty seven films totaling eighteen hours in length did not seem plausible to me. My keyboard wasn't working right. The buttons were jammed and they hurt my fingers. My neck felt paralyzed for sitting in the same position for many hours. My typing speed and attention span decreased as the hours went by, and I was falling asleep at my desk. Since I am not a coffee or soda drinker, I would eat chocolate and sugary foods to keep myself awake at night, but I would end up feeling even worse in the long run. I know I've gained weight from sitting down for so long without exercise as well, and we're going to change that soon by getting a family YMCA membership with some of our check. Upon completion of this project, we would earn over close to $2,500. Most of the money will go towards bills and groceries, but some of it will also go towards paying for my tuition for next year. Every time I nearly fell asleep, I had to bear this in mind and continue to type.

These past weeks, I averaged maybe three to four hours a night. Sometimes only an hour or two, sometimes none at all. I didn't attend school for some of these days to meet the day's deadlines. That, and because of some of the symptoms that accompany sleep deprivation. I admit I wasn't in the best of moods during this time, and I was on edge and very emotional. I could be gleefully running up the stairs one day, and crying in the bathroom the next.

But I am proud of myself, because even with my body and mind begging for rest, I pressed on. I never gave up or went to sleep when a deadline was near. We sorted out our issues and bought a new keyboard about halfway through, which made the rest of the project much easier. That keyboard easily saved me about two hours a film, which is crucial at the 3:00 and 4:00 am hours of the night.

After triumphs and some near failures, we did it. Sometimes I would stay up at night and finish the job, sometimes my dad would carry me when everything in me was depleted. I could honestly say I did everything I could to the best of my ability, which on some days wasn't much, but on others made the difference between us reaching the deadline or not. I just can't believe I can actually say we accomplished this. But the work isn't over yet. We were just hired for another "rush project" that could come in at any day. There is no rest and no mercy. But it's still work, work I need, and work I'm very grateful to have especially at my age. The job field is so rough and so competitive, and I am subject to discrimination for a variety of reasons just like anyone else may be; because of my age or physical condition as far as manual labor in grocery stores or warehouses, who knows what else. It doesn't matter where you're at; people judge you, and you judge others. It's second nature. At least at home, no one knows a sleep deprived, eighteen year old college freshman is behind the screen, rather than the professional whom they really think is doing the job.

I'm loving college, but of course the studying and memorizing is grueling, especially with the limited time I have. I took both my Psychology and my Intro to Politics exams. My grades did suffer; I only received an 85% on my Intro to Politics exam. I guess it's not bad for my first college exam, but I am still disappointed with myself because I know I can do better. I still don't know what I got for my Psychology exam, but as that test was also difficult, I think I've gotten a similar result. I don't believe I've gotten anything lower than a B.

As far as high school goes, I turned in two essays for College Writing which I will hopefully receive back graded tomorrow, and took my first Government test and received the only perfect score in the class! I was so excited, and was the only student who did not retake the test. I am learning so much from both this class and my Intro to Politics class. So much so, that I made yet another huge decision.

I'm changing my major again. I thought about the interests I have in current world affairs and politics. I thought about Girls State, and how energizing and unreal that political atmosphere was. I thought about how many opportunities there was for political science; anything from attorneys, state legislatures and representatives, politicians, all the like. While I do not wish to become an attorney or politician, with that type of knowledge, there are amazing opportunities and positions to fill. I thought about these things in comparison to my current plan, and started to rethink everything. I am back to where I have started, with no idea about what career I want. I absolutely love music, singing, all the like; but I'm not exactly sure if I want to be a music teacher or hold the same position for the majority of my life. Maybe I could be both a history and a music teacher. As cliche as it is to say, variety is the spice to life and I believe life would be more fulfilling to do more than one occupation, or one occupation that can change from one day to the next. I think that is exciting, but I don't think this decision is mine.

I believe God has led me to make this choice. I recently got my ACT score back, and it was much better than my SAT; a 24 overall, with a 27 (about 1900 SAT score equivalent) in English. Math is what killed me; the common enemy. I only received a 20 and that brought my score down significantly. But a 24 on the ACT is equivalent to a 1700 on the SAT, and while I know I can do better than this if I studied math some more, this is the minimum ACT score needed to be considered for Corban University's most prestigious $15,000 a year scholarship reserved for political science majors. The minimum GPA requirement is a 3.6. This is my shot at actually being able to afford college.

I am going to better prepare myself for this major by becoming a member of Corban University's debate team, and it starts this Thursday! It will be challenging considering that I will be stepping into the middle of what the other members have practiced for weeks already, but I am ready to face it head on. 

My eighteenth birthday was nearly a month ago. I celebrated my new found adulthood by waking up at six in the morning to take my ACT test at Chemeketa Community College. I took the SAT before, and I resent the atmosphere of that type of test. It's tense, it's nerve wracking. You can't even drink water for four hours. (I took a sip and nearly got kicked out of the testing center...) I don't like standardized testing as a way to measure students academically. There are many different types of intelligence and skills that are unique to everybody, and everybody should have the chance to pursue their strengths with the best of their ability.

But anyways, after the test was over at 1:15, we stopped at Costco to buy my chocolate mousse birthday cake. It had chocolate roses and decorative white laced frosting. My dad had given me my birthday gift the previous night, which was a receipt from Corban University for $500. My second semester was paid in full!! I couldn't have asked for a better birthday present.

My grandma, aunt, and uncle then came to our apartment at around 4:30 and presented me with four balloons with the primary colors I've been obsessed with repeating over, and over, and over again growing up; green, yellow, red, and blue; the biggest balloon, just like on my sixth birthday, being green. We went to an ice cream shop called Serendipities in our neighboring town, which employs and supports, and raises money for people with disabilities. And of course, the ice cream was delicious.

When I told them a bit about my life then, I wished I could of told them everything. I wanted to talk to them about work since it is a bigger part of my life now. I wish I could tell them how hard it really is to juggle this demanding work, college, and high school. I'm sure they know, but they don't know about the time that has been taken away from me.

My boyfriend Caleb, my microbiology and gym partner from last year, came over that night. He bought me a necklace with a music note. Caleb and I got to spend little time together, but the times we do spend together are special. Homecoming night was recently, and we ironically skipped the dance, but ended up having the time of our lives going out to the field and counting the stars in the sky. It was so peaceful, I nearly fell asleep.

Oh, and I am currently obsessed with this psychedelic masterpiece by The Mamas and The Papas. :heart: Here's if you want to listen for yourself. :)



I miss and love all of you people, and thank you all for your support. :heart: (I want to feature you in my next journal, so comment which pieces of yours that you would like featured. Also if I mistakenly did not add you, comment and I will. :) :heart: )

:heart: :heart: :iconhopeburnsblue: :iconpen-and-mouse: :iconthewritingdragon: :iconzachvalkyrie: :iconbloody-magpies: :iconyuiay: :iconboogiechan98: :icontheaschebloodprince: :iconlucyinthesky114: :iconprincess-yari: :iconyoubetjurassic: :iconstarxx1: :iconmkmoon-mew-gnrfan: :iconferalwrath: :iconhija-de-luna: :iconpjenz: :iconprincesszeppelin: :iconnalanilover: :icon0shawn0: :icontwilitefairy: :heart: :heart:

I am going to attempt to get some much needed sleep again, despite some schoolwork that I do need to catch up on, I just needed to write. I hope this congestion does not last for too much longer as we will for sure have to get back to work soon, but not too soon I'm wishing. It was hard enough working without being sick. I love you all. Good night everybody. :peace:
  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: California Dreaming.

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Webcam

Donate

CassieCros13 has started a donation pool!
450 / 1,000
Eh. I don't do commissions. Just send me a :note: if you want me to write or draw something for you and I'll see what I can do to the best of my ability. :)

Currently saving up to host a contest with big point prizes!! :la:

You must be logged in to donate.

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconstarxx1:
starxx1 Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday :party:
Reply
:iconcassiecros13:
CassieCros13 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconhopeburnsblue:
hopeburnsblue Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Cassie, thank you for the :+favlove: on my color poems! :iconrainbow1plz:
Reply
:iconcassiecros13:
CassieCros13 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2014  Student Writer
No problem dear, they were as wonderful as you are! :)
Reply
:iconkayleerydder:
KayleeRydder Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the llama and the fave and the watch! :hug:
Reply
:iconmaclafel7:
Maclafel7 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

Hi there,


This is a last chance notice!!  I must receive your contest entry by midnight tonight in order for you to be included in the raffle!


If you fail to enter your work, you must still watch, llama, and face the first place winner, like you promised.


Enter here:  maclafel7.deviantart.com/journ…

Reply
:iconcassiecros13:
CassieCros13 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Student Writer
I'm sorry, but I won't be submitting anything. Just ran out of time. :( But I still promise to watch, llama, and fave the first place winner. :)
Reply
:icon0shawn0:
0shawn0 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
>.> New account, yo! :icongilthorpe:
Reply
:iconcassiecros13:
CassieCros13 Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Student Writer
I'm watching you... :eyes: :love:
Reply
:icon0shawn0:
0shawn0 Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! :XD:
Reply
Add a Comment: