Sublime Serenity

When I turned seven,
I blew bubbles.
I put my lips to the wand,
And outside the bubbles
Would float towards the sun,
And that was how I had my fun.

I dipped my wand into the suds,
And watched the kaleidoscopic colors glisten inside
these bubbles that grew and changed before my eyes
And made their way to higher skies.

As an autistic child, I had an obsession
So sublime and serene,
That it fueled my every dream,
It simply was the color green.

To this day,
I don't know why
I would scream, shout and cry
If the car would not stop by
the lone green balloon, tied to the sign by the street.
As my loving father would achieve such a feat
To acclaim this prize, just for me.
There was nothing more that made me smile
Than to behold its beauty for that long while.

And every Christmas was that much more special
As the rich and vibrant lights,
Would twinkle around the evergreen tree
And mystify me.
And when I ever smelled that pine,
It brought forth the magical feeling of Christmas time.
And still so sublime and serene,
was the majestic color green.

As I grew older,
My days went by faster,
As there was more work for me to do.
And out of every vivid hue,
My new preference was blue.

I was not the same extroverted soul
That would waste my days in childish ways,
That would chase the balloons out of my reach,
Or would blow colorful bubbles in the sun,
I was just too old for this type of fun.

My world gave me new aspirations,
While robbing me of my childhood and time.
My lessons changed every week.
My career choice changed every month.
My friends came and went every year,
While my family struggled every day.

And so I returned to these things
That I once so loved to do,
But even as a imaginative child,
I couldn't have dreamt up anything so wild.

When I turned seventeen,
I blew bubbles.
I put my lips to the wand,
And inside the bubbles
Would swiftly shift around the room,
Burn my eyes, and punish my lungs
And that was how I had my fun.

It seems if I've finally found myself.
Behind the bathroom door, I can finally soar,
Among the greatest of altitudes;
the tip of the precipice, the highest of peaks.  

If only such tranquility
Could last a lifetime on earth.
It comes with a cost,
But it's one that it's worth.

This feeling was my childhood
That now at eighteen, I can no longer return to.
And this is the means of how and when
I can become a child again.

All it took was for me
To fall back in love
With the color green.

And these bubbles seem to me instead
To be a canopy of clouds
Hanging over my head.

But that is just what happens when
Rather than blowing your bubbles out,
You decide to breathe them in.