Thank You All So Much!!

I just wanted to write to say thank you all very much to everyone for your amazing support!!!!!!

I really, really want to write more, and the problem has always been figuring out what to say and the right way to say it. It is a process that can take me anywhere from ten minutes to ten months. And especially writing for fun, and not for school, writing because I want to and not have to, that is what I absolutely love the most. I know I am not the best writer by any means, but the fact that you let me know that I am appreciated means absolutely everything to me. To everyone who read my poem, You are More. thank you very, very much!!

I had a really good weekend, too. On Friday I saw my new favorite Disney movie with my dad, brother and grandma, Zootopia! I don't want to spoil anything for anyone who has yet to see it, but from someone who doesn't typically watch or own a lot of Disney animated movies, this was just brilliant and hilarious all around and I can't wait to own it when it comes out on DVD next month!

And today, I went back to my old high school to help my brother schedule his classes for next semester. There was a seminar scheduled from 6:00-8:00, but the entire town was at the high school softball game nearby instead. So very few teachers were actually there, and we couldn't really talk to any of them because they were helping other students. And so just as I turned around, my counselor from another table spotted me and smiled. She was so sweet and generous to me, she had given me opportunities to take college courses since I was sixteen, and she has really helped me both academically and personally. 

Last year at around this time, I was a high school senior about to graduate, and I was more than done with high school. I never really made any friends. I never thought I would miss any of it so soon. And so I took too many credits, I did too much too soon, and I made mistake after mistake. I had finally gotten my wish, to be out of high school and start preparing for my new reality and occupation, whatever that may be. College has humbled me for sure, but it also made me feel very sad. I was no longer the optimist I was in high school. I accepted lower standards because I never could seem to meet my own expectations. I waged war against myself and lost. I came in ready to take on the world, and came out fall semester having no passion left for anything. 

But this year, I logged in for the first time in many months and learned how to do something I never thought I could do in a million years, I learned how to animate. I made mistakes, but I learned from them and became better, and even made some friends along the way. And I want to do the same thing in my life. I want to learn from my mistakes and be a better student. I want to become as passionate and driven as I was before times ten. And I finally felt that passion in my heart again when I got invited back to the staff team for Girls State. It was as if some burden in my heart has been lifted at last, I feel like a new person to have this opportunity again to teach and assist and empower people. It gives me a sense of purpose and direction which I need in the face of uncertainty. 

I am already packed (which for someone as unorganized as myself, says a lot about my excitement about this ) and I leave in ten days. I will be offline from June 10-18, if you have any requests for anything during that time note me and I will get to them when I come back.  

Also, thank you ArtByErin3 for commissioning me my new ID! (It's me modeled after my favorite Star Wars character, Master Yoda ) It looks amazing and even better than I imagined it!



More than anything, I wanted to write to remind others and remind myself that our failures and past mistakes don't define us, and neither do other peoples judgments or our own thoughts of self doubt and anxiety. We can't go back and change anything, and we shouldn't want to and have the sting of regret prevent us from uncovering new purpose. We can only learn from our past and move forward. We are more than those who knock us down or stand in our way, but our own biggest enemy more often than not is our own overly critical selves.